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March 2016

March wasn't exciting but it wasn't devastating, either. March was good to me. There were plenty of ordinary moments in ordinary days. It turns out that I like it that way. And finding the little things that stand out on days like those make for my favourite kind of pictures. The March collection of photographs is the perfect example.

1. The ice was only visible in the early morning hours. By ten o'clock it had all melted.

2. If it hadn't been my turn to feed the chickens, I would have slept in and missed that early morning light.

3. This is just a picture of my couch. The window is still covered in plastic. I look at it every day and every day it looks the same. Still, I love this picture. It feels so damn familiar.

4. I bought a really ugly purple flannel shirt at Frenchy's just for the buttons. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

5. The very sad, yet wonderful, state of my knitting basket. I should tidy it up but it brings me too much joy the way it is.

6. Monkey in a bowl. I had nothing to do with it. It wasn't even my bowl. Monkeys.

7. Geneva's beautiful hair made only more beautiful by the fun things she can make it do.

8. The first flowers to show up in my garden. Thank you, spring.

9. While these are always green, they look best in the warm afternoon sunlight.


Seven Years and One Day

The TTC transfer that I found in my travel tin, along with my notebook and pencils, read Monday, March 30. That makes the year 2009. I'm not sure exactly what prompted me to write a list like this but hidden in the pages smelling strongly of graphite there is an entry titled Horrible Things. The mere idea of it makes me laugh. I don't think that I would normally bat an eyelash at any one of these things but I guess daily exposure compelled me to vent.

Horrible Things

I · B.O. on the bus (Self-explanatory.)

II · Throwing hammers (What I wouldn't give to know why this made the list.)

III · Urine soaked bathmats (Small children at work? It's my only guess.)

IV · Pigeons (Ugh!)

V · Full body tackles (I was body checked trying to navigate a sea of people who were all moving in the opposite direction. I remember it vividly. Not fondly, just vividly.)

VI · Snot-nosed remarks (I can't think of the specific exchange. There were too many to keep track.)

VII · Unsightly nose hairs (Possibly sitting next to me on the bus. Possibly the reason for #1.)

There should have been a number eight.

VIII · People who horque giant green loogies on the sidewalk where you are most likely to step. (This happened on a daily basis and repulses me every time I think of it. How did it not make the list?)



February 2016

February was every bit the lifesucker that January was. I found it hard to pick up my camera and only managed it a few times. This is all I've got.


January 2016

Oh, January. You were a stinker. But even with all your rot you still managed to squeeze out a little beauty. Thank goodness.



Life sucker-punched me.

It started out innocently enough. So innocent that I don't even know how it started. I assume it started when I was a baby. I was hungry but wasn't fed right away. Life gave me a light flick on the cheek. I fell while I was learning to walk. A light flick on the other cheek. I fell on my face and lost a tooth. A harder flick. My parents divorced and I had to switch schools. Flick. Flick. I broke up with my first boyfriend. The flicks just kept getting harder. I moved from my first apartment that I shared with a friend to a basement apartment in the suburbs far from my friends and family. I felt so isolated. Flick to the lip. My husband lost his job. Flick to the eyebrow. Husband is diagnosed with cancer. Five-finger flick to the eye. My sister dies of cancer at the age of twenty-three. Ten-finger flick to the eyes. It didn't take long to figure out that the flicks weren't going to go away. They were just going to keep coming at me. I stopped noticing the flicks to the cheek. There were just too many. But those ten-finger flicks to the eyes? Those hurt. I was on the lookout for those. I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath. And while I wasn't looking I got sucker-punched in the eye.

* * *

As a point of interest, I'm probably wearing more makeup in that picture than I did at the prom.